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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?